Yapping (again) about existence

What if the universe is just a massive amoeba with the highest level of consciousness that goes beyond time, space, and matter... but then it gets bored and lonely, so it detaches itself from itself, conceiving life forms in a variety of timelines in spacetime continuum, to play a game of dare?

And the game would just be... whoever's capable of living the most gut-wrenching, discombobulating, and flabbergasting experience, wins. Because at some point, profound peace feels flat, but chaos feels dimensional. And existence? It has always loved dimensions, no matter its stakes.

That being said;

Jesus, Gautama, Nelson Mandela, Hitler, Stalin, and Mao Zedong are all winners; because of their courage to feel deeply and live life, following their innate desire and intuition; leading to either massive destruction or construction.

Yin and Yang; Go Big or Go Home!

That's the game of life.

For me, personally, it feels scary to feel and act according to these rooted ancient impulses, just to take up space in the world, both for good or bad. And so, I think, I am a loser.

But then again, I also wonder... if the world is filled with equal intensity from opposing sides, and there are no losers like me... then what would that really look like? Would it be hysterical? Ecstatic? Unsustainable? Transcendent? ...or would it be funny?

Imagine a one-on-one battle of Gautama and Hitler, constantly changing its forms, but never its essence or side throughout time. It truly never ends until the end point of existence.

Two snakes trying to eat each others' tail, not realizing that, at the end of the day, they become one full circle, and are both winning out of the courage to act.

Now that would be hilarious, no?

Exhausting, yes.

But funny, if you think about it.

The fact that we constantly shed blood, sweat, and tears against each other since the very first beginning of time, only to realize that we come from and later, go towards the same exact source, and that separation is merely an illusion as a means for the game to run properly. We all get so caught up in the game, that we almost forget what is the point of it all, in the first place.

We are here to have fun, I believe. But we suffer a lot, it feels inevitable at this point. Did we program ourselves to suffer, you think? Perhaps to make the fun and the bliss and the sunshine and the rainbows feel almost… earned in a way? To make it feel like everything will be worth it in the end? Or perhaps it is to minimize the possibility of taking life’s greatest virtue and comfort for granted?

No. Hold on. That's the paradox, isn't it? Suffering exists due to all these winners, like Hitler, Stalin, and Mao Zedong who followed their innate impulses to the fullest. Suffering is, at its nature, inevitable, not because it is programmed or it is inflicted towards us by the divinity or the universe per se. But it is merely an interwoven thing, tangled within the game of life itself. 

And yes, they definitely induced generational sufferings, but if you look at it again, carefully this time, you'll see that they did not only bring afflictions and hardships, they also brought a certain degree of national independence and growth in a holistic point-of-view. Hence, in this case, I think Yin and Yang is truly a package deal; one that cannot exist without the other. There is no purity or absolutes in this perspective. Every sides are entangled with each other, because, again, as Alan Watts had quoted, "All that is negative in the world, all that is in a way painful and evil, there is a kind of necessity to it. It goes with the good; it is necessary for the good. Disorder is necessary for the manifestation of order just as you must have say, a black background to show up a light figure."

I think there is a degree of righteousness in this specific quote of his.

But then again, everything I say in this post is merely a what-if situation. Don't take this too seriously. But also, take this as you might to enrich you in ways you favor.

Cheers.