Is Suffering Necessary?

God is nothing and everything all at once. It doesn’t exist, but it exists.

What is God anyway? What is it?

Zoom in, zoom out.

Look at the repeating patterns around us.

Our inside organs seem separate, but zoom out, and you’ll see it as one body.

Look at all the countries. It seems separate, but zoom out, then we have a singular place called earth.

Zoom out again, we have our solar system. Again, then we have our galaxy.

Zoom out, zoom out, zoom out. What is the end point? Singularity—God?

And, and, and… listen to me.

Our body has its own ways to ensure our survival. White blood cells killing unfamiliar things like viruses and shits that enter our body. It’s natural.

Zoom in, you’ll probably see a genocide. But zoom out, you’ll see it as something irrelevant—something natural that just happens.

So, what if… just what if all the so-called negative things in this world are merely just… a natural thing that is bound to happen for whatever is going on beyond what we know now? I mean… the singularity…. It has its own agenda. And we are merely a microscopic irrelevant thing that does not matter to the greater beyond, yet we have our own butterfly effect at the same time. And everything is always in its place. Nothing is a coincidence. Every puzzle piece is where it’s supposed to be, including all the massacres, wars, rapes, sex trafficking, corrupted power—and every other atrocities happening in our world right at this second.

People always ask, right? If God exists, then why does he let all these bad things happen?

Well, what if that is the point?

You know… to fulfill a bigger agenda of something beyond our reality—survival for an organism, for instance.

What if atrocities are just natural functions of existence?

I mean, morality is essentially man-made, right? And I believe it is only there to preserve our existence as human beings. We punish the bad as a means for reducing it, so the scale wouldn’t tip so bad, so we won’t annihilate our own kind. Our survival instinct—where does it come from? It seems to me like it is pre-programmed inside our brain, just like how our white blood cells will naturally kill all the identified viruses that enter our body. They are aware but only within their pre-programmed reality. And so are we.

So, what if our survival instinct is merely a leverage for some unknowable agenda beyond our intelligence?

Look at all the dying stars, supernovas, black holes. They all have inevitable destructive features. When there is creation, there will be destruction. Yin and Yang, remember? Perhaps, that’s the key of life—Balance. When the scale tips, that’s when everything goes off track. But what would happen when the good is so much bigger than the bad? Will it still be going off track? Will it be something bad? Not healthy? Insane way of thinking, but… goddamn it. I can’t help it. Utopia and dystopia wouldn’t be good for us, I assume. So, here we are, in between both worlds. Can that possibly be our maintenance strategy?

And… to a certain extent, we are the singularity for the gut microbiomes and white blood cells inside our body, right?

So, looking from the perspective of the patterns I have mentioned previously, there is a chance that we could also be the gut microbiomes and white blood cells for another bigger singularity.

And so, all this mess and insanity exists deliberately. We are ‘God’, but there will always be a bigger ‘God’. We are infinities within another infinities, and there is no end. Or maybe there is an end, but it can only be a conundrum.

It’s like a bubble within another bubble, within another bubble that is within another one. Repeat that until a final one is reached (if there is one). It forms something incomprehensible that is just so out of reach. So far away from what we always assume to know, what we have always argued against each other. And it is unapologetically grandiose so we try to subtle it down, put it in a box and label it, to give it a limit—not because we have ill intentions towards it, but because that is the only thing we can do to process it.

We limit it, because we, ourselves, are limited and there is nothing we can do about it.

Perhaps, that is the point. Limiting ourselves means we are balancing the scales—maintaining ourselves in-between the utopian and dystopian world.

In a world where everything is good and every knowledge ever there is, is attainable… Bliss feels so quotidian, it becomes flat, losing its worth.

In a world where everything is bad and the access to knowledge is horrendously limited… Bliss feels impossible, it becomes devastating, losing life’s worth.

Good news is:

I think, as objective as they are, utopia and dystopia can also be subjective. You can choose what your utopia and dystopia looks like. We might just be a blip in this vast universe, but if along the way, we are able to do what we want and feel what we desire—then isn’t that enough, you think?