Coffee and Drugs

I think, if I were to consume drugs or smoke cigars, I would not survive. I would die. That's not an overstatement.

‎I used to roll my eyes, hearing people depriving themselves, of sleeping, eating, or something else. And now I'm laughing, because I'm at that exact point of deprivation. You know, when you cross a certain line of discomfort, your body adjusts. It doesn't want more. It gets high.

‎I like the high.

I'm chasing the high. The legal kind.

‎And good news, coffee works too!

‎Oh. And, and, for me, it tastes like freedom too. In a world full of judgements and restrictions, I can finally feel free. Like a freshly-shaved sheep. Heavy, sluggish, tangled. All gone now. And suddenly everything feels so much lighter, like everything is gonna be okay.

‎That's why I yearn for the high. And why it gives me life, and yet also be the death of me, one day.

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